Nothing lasts in this world

Lesson 22

What I see is a form of vengeance.

Today's idea accurately describes the way anyone who holds attack thoughts in his mind must see the world. Having projected his anger onto the world, he sees vengeance about to strike at him. His own attack is thus perceived as self defense. This becomes an increasingly vicious circle until he is willing to change how he sees. Otherwise, thoughts of attack and counter-attack will preoccupy him and people his entire world. What peace of mind is possible to him then?

It is from this savage fantasy that you want to escape. Is it not joyous news to hear that it is not real? Is it not a happy discovery to find that you can escape? You made what you would destroy; everything that you hate and would attack and kill. All that you fear does not exist.

Look at the world about you at least five times today, for at least a minute each time. As your eyes move slowly from one object to another, from one body to another, say to yourself:

I see only the perishable.

I see nothing that will last.

What I see is not real.

What I see is a form of vengeance.

At the end of each practice period, ask yourself:

Is this the world I really want to see?

The answer is surely obvious.

My comments... This lesson obviously follows up on the previous lessons, but it is explained more clearly and (unlike some of the previous lessons) makes more sense to me. Possibly because the statements, "I see only the perishable, and I see nothing that will last" are true in this made up world of ours. Nothing lasts. This is easy to accept. The "vengeance" and "attack thoughts" aspect of today's lesson is something I must think about, as this is a different concept for me.

Determination brings relief

Lesson 21

I am determined to see things differently.

The idea for today is obviously a continuation and extension of the preceding one. This time, however, specific mind-searching periods are necessary, in addition to applying the idea to particular situations as they may arise. Five practice periods are urged, allowing a full minute for each.
In the practice periods, begin by repeating the idea to yourself. Then close your eyes and search your mind carefully for situations past, present or anticipated that arouse anger in you. The anger may take the form of any reaction ranging from mild irritation to rage. The degree of the emotion you experience does not matter. You will become increasingly aware that a slight twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury.

Try, therefore, not to let the "little" thoughts of anger escape you in the practice periods. Remember that you do not really recognize what arouses anger in you, and nothing that you believe in this connection means anything. You will probably be tempted to dwell more on some situations or persons than on others, on the fallacious grounds that they are more "obvious." This is not so. It is merely an example of the belief that some forms of attack are more justified than others.

As you search your mind for all the forms in which attack thoughts present themselves, hold each one in mind while you tell yourself:

I am determined to see ______ [name of person] differently.

I am determined to see ______ [specify the situation] differently.

Try to be as specific as possible. You may, for example, focus your anger on a particular attribute of a particular person, believing that the anger is limited to this aspect. If your perception is suffering from this form of distortion, say:

I am determined to see ______ [specify the attribute]in ______ [name of person] differently.

My comments... As mentioned in the lesson text above, this follows up on the previous lesson, but with more specifics. As I practiced yesterday's lesson and this one, I get a sense of calming when I identify a person or situation and state that I am determined to see this differently. It almost feels like I'm releasing myself (excusing myself) in some way. That by doing this, the guilt or anger I feel toward that thing is dissipating.... I'm determined!